Time to turn the page ;
There were times; I spent hours looking at my ceiling fan. There were times when I looked at the walls of my room imagining shapes. There were times when I kept staring at the window pane, watching the day go by. There were times I stood under the shower hoping to get breathless. There were times I would lay in bed with my eyes close, trying to shut the world away. There were times when I plugged in my earphones and listened to deafening music trying to drown my memories out. There were times when I stared at my reflection in the mirror searching for myself. Searching for life in those empty eyes. That was the year 2017 for me.
They say heartbreaks are essential in the self-development. I never really believed it, until recently. Was that depression? Was that me mourning the death of one relationship? Was that me losing a part of myself? Was I washing away my dreams with my tears? Was that just pain? Was that the agony of a broken heart? Was that just me coming to terms with reality? Reality that no one can love you the way you expect.
The thing about being in love is that we make it about the other person. Love has to be about you first. It’s about what you both are when you are together. How can we love someone else when we don’t love ourselves enough? I was becoming something I didn’t love. And I was totally ignoring what I was becoming. Time and again I would say to him “You are no longer the person I loved once”. But I failed to ask myself, if I was really the person I used to be. Honestly speaking we can never be the person we were yesterday or even a minute before. We change, we evolve, we adapt, and we grow. But the key here is to remember the core. Core of who we are. Time and again we need to look deep inside our heart and find ourselves. Love is like gardening, it needs constant care and nourishment.
I would be lying if I say I wasn’t hurt. I was shattered, devastated, broken into pieces. But I don’t regret a bit of it. I look back and feel happy to have experienced love in that form. I look back at it and realize that it has made me who I am today. And I have evolved as a person. The one lesson I have learned is, that every person who walks into your story leaves once their role in it is over. It doesn’t mean the story has ended. It just means it’s time to turn the page. It’s time to start a new chapter. Cause the book is about you, and all that would be remembered is your story.
Year 2018 is a new chapter in my book. This chapter is going to be all about happiness. This chapter is going to be about new definitions of love.
Happy New Year!