Feb 3, 2014

just words

crossing under the bridge a road that only vaguely reminds of what it used to be years ago someone plays the radio I hear a song so long forgotten and it fills me with nostalgia I am not really allowed but I grab at it anyways as I drive through a traffic jam almost geometric the music cuts me from all angles I am reminded of sitting around pavement cutting chai and the jingle of coins we saved for it on bored midnights and blurry pencils we talked of passion and love for lead bricks that make you feel like living the city comes alive suddenly you see it all in black and white lines are emerging out of every side as I realize we might be inside a comic film and the building look like our portfolio with the incomplete coloring  the white bricks on my wall and yours with yellow green trees the shade you forget to draw inspired by what you never understood the words crash against your heart at 3am in the shabby room your parents refused to enter and you learn how to fall and get back on your feet we fall we break we shatter take make and at the end we just throw all the papers away and start over coz we are not alone now and the music like the lines heal every cut you gave far away somewhere the day breaks and we knew that passion has not died for it is our truth we always knew that 
we are what we are.

-written sometime in 2008


Who are you
You have found your way to the center of my life,
to the core of my being
& Yet your existence is so subtle

Who are you
You can soothe me so gently
Disturb me so completely
Show me so clearly hidden aspects of my own
& yet you carry me beyond borders of my dreams

Who are you
My most intimate friend
Most remote shining star,
Twinkling and always sparkling
& yet you remain so silent so constant

Who are you
You who leaves deep within me
& still not knowing.

Dated 4th jan 2009

Its 4th of jan .. yeah i know after some hours its going to be my b'day.. but i wish it was the same like every year when i am all excited about tomorrow being my b'day. But no it isn't same this year cos  loads of reasons are there. I just want to finish tomorrow as soon as possible. Reason being that i hate to pretend. I hate to do things when i don't want to do them. What's the point to have that fake smile on my face, which i will have to put, cos there would be people wishing me and they would expect me to be happy cos thats the way everyone is on there b'days. I am missing my collage days, all my b'days in collage have been great. Not that i have done anything great. But the whole fun is when u enter the class and everybody starts singing for u and everyone comes n gives u that warm hug. I m missing them all. Miss them singing in every lecture on that day. Miss them singing for the cake. But tomorrow no one would sing for me. It would like any other day in the office. God that reminds me of the fact that collage is over for me now. All that i have in my hand is this professional life. And as u know my office where there isn't anyone whom i can call as my friends its going to be the most boring b'day of my life. i remember that b'day of mine in 2005. Was such a great day. I m so thankful to god for giving me such a day in my life the day which have given me so much, so much for my whole life..  i wish things go all fine tomorrow and the day goes all ok if not extraordinary... happy b'day darshi.. and i m sure the day wont be so bad ..