BraiN's DraiN..

expect the unexpected

2011-11-15T21:10:00.000-08:00

“U haven’t proposed me for marriage Nikhil. Let’s do something orthodox in our relation. There is nothing orthodox about our relation. When do u plan to do it?” I ask this with urging tone.
“Isn’t it nice to have our relationship so different from others?” he says it simply with a smile.
“no, I mean yes it’s nice that its different, but I still I want to go through this experience,” I still urge with small face.
“hmm ok let’s see”, he says with simple tone.[as if I have asked him for toblerone]
Imagine this discussion taking place 10 times or may be more than that since our marriage got decided. Do u think I have anything to say after “lest see!!” answer, no I don’t. But I still survive on a ray of hope…
Yes our marriage has been fixed [ JJ ], after six years of a relationship. Finally it’s gonna be official [he he]. After my elder sister’s wedding my line was clear but I didn’t see it coming sooo soon. We made our parents meet up with both of us having our fingers crossed. It’s never simple, the so called marriage discussions love or arraigned. Touch wood it went well, date got decided. The funny thing is the news didn’t get registered in my chitlu pitlu brain at all. I was just not able to imagine that we would be getting married. So that was another reason why I wanted this proposal thing so bad. I mean we were strangers, then acquaintance, then friends, we started liking each other but we skipped the whole proposing thing there as well cos it was just a mutual feeling. It was just understood. Then folks meet up, wedding date everything happened on its own. Now don’t u think me urging him for formal proposal is justified???
Since then the above discussion has been a part of our talks often [quite often to be precise ]. And to top it all me being the way I am , also knowing the way he is I gave him a deadline [I know stupid effort but still] cos if he wants to do it he would do it and if he doesn’t feel like doing it he won’t. The deadline and all goes down the drain. Just the optimistic part of me was making me do it and left it upto him then.
We all know when the marriage gets fixed the major change which takes place in ur life is, all ur free time all ur weekends everything gets centered around only one thing “Shopping”. [and not the two people who are getting married]. Did I ever tell you, that I hate shopping like anything but do I have an option now?? NO!!
It’s evident now that this time my reason for Hyderabad trip was my wedding shopping with my would be mother in law [I still call her aunty though .hehe..] now it being an official trip definitely I would use it well as a reason which ended up making my trip four days trip unlike my other weekend trips. J. Majority of my time was going in shopping for this and that. The sad part was Nikhil didn’t accompany me anywhere L this was the 1st time I was roaming around in the city without him. It was fun though being with aunty trying to know different saree types and other thing. Thankfully second day was all reserved for us, especially for his shopping. Spent the whole day shopping bought him a good stuff [he looks very hot in blazers, had a big smile to see him wear something like that] shopped for me as well. U would be surprised to know that this was the first time we shopped together in all these years. I think it’s given cos of we being anti-shopping people J
It took our whole day then went for pub where there was a small surprise waiting for Nikhil. I went and got dressed in a nice party wear. I guess it would be a good surprise after a long shopping day. And sure it worked, saw that rare sweet broad smile on his face along with admiring twinkly eyes. [Worth carrying the luggage whole day ;) ] By the way this was another thing we did for the first time, going to pub together and dance. We got a threatening call from aunty in the middle of a party so we ran like wind and reached home and crawled to our respective room [ I know L ].
After sometime I went to him to say good night, I hugged him wished him good night and about to leave but he still had his arms wrapped around me, he hugged me tight and said “let me hold u like this for some time , it’s been long I held u like this.” I hugged him back tightly. We were quite holding each other just listening our heartbeats.
Then he said, “I have never hugged you like this... I missed you”
“I miss t…” I was about to say but he continued..
“I miss you when I wake up in the morning and wanna see your face. I miss you when I come home after a very long hard day, n wish to see your smiling face. I miss you when I got to sleep. I miss you when I am going to some party, when I go to try new places. I miss you when I am at sazio enjoying my hukah. I miss you when I am sad and just want u next to me. I miss you when u are all low and I want to be there for you. I miss u.. I miss u loads. And I don’t want to miss you anymore. So miss darshana pawar will u marry me? so that I never ever miss you so much”
I tucked my head in his embrace, with a big damn big smile on my face, small tears in my eyes [thankfully it was dark and he didn’t see them] the only word came to me was “ishh!” I just couldn’t say anything I was just so so sooo overwhelmed, so happy that I just kept smiling couldn’t even gather my guts and look in his eyes.
“I will always make sure this smile on ur face remains there. I will keep u so happy that even if I am not around u would not miss me. I will always be there by ur side. U are my strength and I know together we will have a wonderful life. So miss darshana pawar will you marry me? so I will always be able to hold you like this”
I held him tighter, n just smiled and could manage to say “ishh!” [again]. I kept holding onto him, holding onto the moment. The special moment of my life, the moment I was waiting for so badly. The moment I never knew how I would react to. The moment I never knew would happen like this. The moment whose memory would always make me blush in the future. The moment so special for both of us. The moment which was just like him, different from everybody, mesmerizing. Just so unorthodox, like our very relationship. I could have never asked for it to happen better than this. Even after all those discussions and urging and begging, pleading : P for this I just couldn’t answer “yes” to him.
“Yes, Mr. Moyal, yes I will’.
Given a chance I would have shout on top of my voice and say yes to you.
Say yes to the dream we have imagined.
Say yes to the dream we will be living together.
Say yes to every small little moment I will be spending with you.
Say yes to the happiness.
Say yes to our happiness.
Say yes to share every breath till the last one.
Love you

change

2011-02-09T02:59:00.000-08:00

Mind, its all about the confusion. i always keep wondering , if could name mind as some thing else. then "Tornado", or "mixer grinder" or any crappy combination of alphabets like "tsfjsgfjs". Some name that u can’t decipher the meaning of it

I mean how much one has to try, how much one has to think, and how much actually falls in place any which ways. and why should one even try so hard when u know it wont go the way you would want it to. Mind, just a pi9ce of gooey mess.

You know what's worse? The preconceived notion. That’s the worse thing of all. Coz that reduces the tiny little bit of scope u have to improve on anything. to convince someone that what they might have assumed you to be , u aren't that way at all, and its the situation put u in that position and made u be this way.

Change is what we humans are scared of. Change is something we are skeptical about. And yet change is what we crave for. but even when we know change is inevitable , why don't we prepare our mind to except it. i know it might take time to get used to the change , but isn't it true that, once we get used to the change it wont remain as a change then...

If we think this way and have some patience to hold on to it. Let the time play its game. I m sure it wouldn't be that frustrating for us and the people around us. Who bear all our tantrums?

I just wish whoever reads this gives it just one try and think about it.

Coz bottom line is "change is inevitable".

-31_1_2011

Dedicated to Kausik Mukhopadhyay

2010-09-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

My so called last day of college, when I went to check my final year results. And that’s the day I fell for him all over again. Ya, the only love of my five years of architectural course.

My love, my friend, my idol, my mentor. May be at

the end of my life I will forget everyone I meet in my college but would never ever forget him, Kausik Mukhopadhyay.

It’s fun to recollect his first impression, someone who looks kind of artist, or some crazy looking guy who hardly falls under the so called conventional definition of a professor. He is the one who introduced us to the perspective of our course, the one who gave us the glimpse of what it is like to get into this college. The one who made us believe that we are good enough to be in there. And for sure the one who built the foundation for us so that we could built ourselves over it.

He is like the Sun, the source of love, encouragement

. Every time you meet him you would always find your share of love. His just that warm smile would be enough.

Personally he wasn’t ever just a professor for me. But the respect was still there. He knew so much about me, he always remembered what I told him and what am I up to. I wasn’t that great of a student. And I am sure he must have heard about it from our other faculties but none of that ever affected his belief in me. Whenever I meet him he would make me believe that i do have potential to go ahead. Always made me feel that I do have something in me.

That day after I saw my results I was so happy that fi

nally I could call myself as an architect. On the other hand, the fact that there wasn’t anyone in college I could share my happiness with, no one who really cared, really put me down big time.

I was in canteen when I saw Kaushik and went to give him a hug, finally someone I could share the news with. But before I could say anything he hugged me and said “ Ya I saw it , finally an architect.” It was just so amazing. I didn’t know what to say I just had this big smile on my face n some tears in my eyes. Knowing that he remembered me and

he actually cared to check my result. And that’s when I fell for him again.

Thanks a lot Kaushik. And I promise that the day isn’t far, when u will look at my work and say “that’s Darshana’s work, I always knew this girl would shine”

Thanks a lot for making me believe in myself

-Love you.

file:///C:/Users/maggi/Desktop/IMG_0638.JPG

i love it ..

2010-06-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

I love rains.

Coz the way raindrops fall on the leaves, the earth, the roads, leaving everything rejuvenated,

Coz I can sit at my window n see the rain and still have some sparkles of drops falling over my face.

Cos the way I can lie down in my bed, all cozy in my sheets, and listen to the heavy rains outside and fall asleep listening to it.

Cos the way I stand under the shower and suddenly chilled water falls on my head, leaving goosebumps all over me,

Cos the way some bird comes for shelter in the window n flutters its wings in patterns, taking different shapes just to dry itself,

Coz I have a sip of hot coffee and the combination of rain and coffee seems to be just awesome, (vodka for instance)

Cos the way my hair are wet n the water trickles down on my bare back, the same way it trickles down the window glass,

Cos the way I wanna snuggle bellow the sheets, trying to balance between the warmth and cold air around,

Cos the way kiss seems to be as perfect as it could get,

Cos the way my umbrella flies n still leaves me with a smile, even after a slight irritation, just the effect of the soothing raindrops,

I love rains cos the very way it makes everything so simply romantic.

-.-.-.

2010-02-13T07:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder even the people u know the most or u fell it that u know them the most have some side of them which is totally unknown to u. And when u encounter that side of them u wonder if that’s real them. u start thinking or u even feel bad cos even when u so close u still didn’t know something about them. U feel bad and disappointed for not knowing it. Ur brains keeps wondering whether u aren’t worth knowing it, but isn’t that way.

We the human beings are so complex so complex with our emotions. After knowing so many people in life I have learnt one thing even though u love someone, or u are strongly bonded with someone there is always a part of u which is just for urself. It isn’t necessary to make someone a part of it cos those our ur moments, ur thoughts, that’s something u have decided to keep to urself. And today when I sit and wonder what it is that I have kept to myself, what it is that no one knows apart from me, I m not able answer it. Is it really that, or I have totally pored my heart to someone that I have nothing kept to myself, or its just that the side of mine which I have kept so much to myself is lost deep inside me… what if I just loose it totally and never able to figure out what is it that’s by me all for myself… will I just loose a part of me without even knowing about it… is that really a loss???

For the first time today I m writing my blog with tears rolling down my face..i don’t even know why m I mentioning this here… but I am glad they are rolling down. Coz it has touched right at the core of my heart making me realize how much it means to me…ill tell u someday what am I talking about…

Fantasy..

2009-12-06T09:57:00.000-08:00

Here I finished the most awaited book “Five point someone” finally. Not that I m a big dieheart fan of chetan bhagat but I read all the other books by him apart from the very 1^st one. I was introduced to him by Nikhil who wanted me to read ‘One Night @ Call centre’ (so he gifted me that one). Was a good book worth a read (and I read it twice). But this post isn’t about chetan or his books. This is about my fantasy, a lifelong fantasy which never came true.

My fantasy to stay in a hostel in my student life. Isn’t that amazing, staying on your own, away from your family taking care of your own things. The freedom of taking decisions, managing your own finance, being on your own in all ups and downs. All this sounds super exciting to me. I always kept dreaming as to how it would have been if I had a chance to stay in a hostel. Not as paying guest and all but being an hostelite. Being under those restrictions, rules still finding your way out, breaking the deadlines. I strongly believe if I were in a hostel even for couple of years I would have been a total different person( don’t worry not a spoil brat) do have some friends who have stayed. Life in a hostel teaches you so much. I mean one should really stay in a hostel to know the real “you”. It makes you self dependent it makes an individual.

I do have friends who stayed in hostel. They kept telling me stories about the life in a hostel. Like how goody goody it may sound to stay away from folks this and that, but nothing remains Mary go round. But you know what I don’t care how harsh it might turn out to be, I would get a lifelong lesson. A lesson of its kind. This book reminded me of my long forgotten fantasy. And I enjoyed it so much cos kept imagining myself as one of the character in the story and kept thinking how it would have been. It was too good of fun even when I cant go and do those things I could at least do it in my imagination in the world of this book. I would always regret not having that peace of happiness, fun, madness being an hostelite…

For us from architecture:

2009-12-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

crossing under the bridge a road that only vaguely reminds me of what it used to be a year ago someone plays the radio I hear a song so long forgotten and it fills me with nostalgia I am not really allowed but I grab at it anyways as I desire through a traffic jam almost geometric the music cuts me from all angles I am reminded of sitting around pavement cutting chai and the jingle of coins we saved for it in bored midnights and blurry pencils we talked of passion and love for laid bricks that make you feel like living the city comes alive suddenly you see it all in black and white lines are emerging out of every side as I realize we might be inside a comic strip and the building look like our portfolios with the incomplete coloring the white bricks on my cad wall and yours with yellow green trees the shade you forgot to draw inspired by what you never understood the words crash against your heart at 3am in the shabby room your parents refused to entre and your feet we fall we break we shake take make and at the end we just throw all the papers away and start all over coz we are not alone now and the music like the lines heal every cut you gave yourself making your last model far away somewhere the day breaks and we know the passion has not died for it is our truth we always know that we are what we are

Nostalgia:

2009-10-30T22:28:00.000-07:00

Don’t know why but surfed through the old snaps of mine. Old as in not real old ones, just last 5-6 yrs. Or to be precise the memories of my architectural course. Was too good of a fun seeing those once again. Everyone looked so different, we all looked like kids. The 1^st year photos are marvelous cos that was the beginning where we looked like as if all of us were from all different corners. New to all this, new to architecture, new to each other Popping our little heads out of our own cocoons. And trying to become one class, trying to become KRVI’ts (my college KRVIA) the second year snaps are fun, we actually look like pals for ages, as we belong to one big family. So innocent we were. There wasn’t much of a group-lism by then. But by the end of third year we had made our small small groups, and still were a class when we had to be a class.

With time we knew our differences, we knew our likings, we knew our preferences too, but on the process of knowing all of this the idea of “one class” had already taken a back seat. Fading up slowing in our minds. Wasn’t surprising, cos that’s human nature we love to form cocoons, sometimes just by ourselves, or sometimes with the preferred ones. By the end of fourth year even the occasional hi-bye vanished away, and the ones who did so either it was for the heck of it or for some own purpose. Thankfully there wasn’t any rivalry as such in the class. Fifth year added to the gap, we started working and were on our own in the big outside world. New work, new people, new world. The gap between us expanded. Some of us tried to reduce it. It worked with some with other there wasn’t any reciprocal reaction.

And now its very different, all of us are scattered. Soon ill be out of this college, and I wonder will anyone miss me? will anyone remember me? Answer is unknown but I know one thing ill never forget these five years, cos I have learnt a lot. I have got a lot, some good some bads. I loved may pals, and I still love them. The way Newton said ‘every action has a equal n opposite reaction’ I think even friendship is like that. If there isnt equal reaction the bond never lasts.

Ohh!! What am I talking about.. I thought I would say something nice and cheerful cos was very happy looking at those pictures, I thought I would tell u about some funny snaps which reminded me of crazy fun we had… but I guess I am little nostalgic now..

I would say even if we have 10 friends only 3-4 of them would be your real friends, who think the same for u the way u do. And those are the ones who know what’s on ur mind even just by the way u say “hello!” on the call…those are the ones who love u for you are, the ones who know truly know who you are… I do have such pals (very few but that’s better) and I am happy that I have realized this so soon in my life…

Posting a snap of mine to change the mood of the post. That 1^st day of my life when I wore saree. Shits can’t forget that..see how I look. :D ...bye

(sakkubai avatar)

hello..once again.

2009-10-21T23:54:00.000-07:00

Its almost two months .. Quite a long time for anyone to not blog isn’t it.. but things have way too busy in life. I had some final college submissions to make, so was caught up with that. Some family things also kept me busy. And frankly speaking I totally forgot I have a blog as well :D.. so now u should know my mind was so caught up with things. But it always feels nice to get back to the blog, my own space. Saw some comment which I didn’t check for all this time. I hope u guys had a great Diwali and loads of fun. My Diwali wasn’t to great again cos of my studies. Didn’t do much this time. And actually have lot more things to update u about..but don’t have enough time to do so.. but I m sure u ill do it soon.. n u will wait n come back to read it :D..

See you soon

Take care..

my garden tails (tales)!!

2009-09-14T00:27:00.000-07:00

I never ever thought the backyard of my house has so much that i was unaware of. These are some of the visitors i tried to capture. I really wish i knew there names. when i find time i surely try to find out. as of now just introducing u to "My Garden tails" :)
If i had a better cam may be an SLR the snaps wud have been more intresting. :(

vacation Part-2

2009-09-08T04:22:00.000-07:00

I m back, I know took a little longer..so let’s not waste any more time and continue with

Part- 2

The real vacation started the very moment when those crystal clear waves touched our feet, the smooth wind blew on our skin, and all we could hear was wind and all that we could see was the ocean. It felt heaven to be at such a place. So neat, so clean, total pure form of nature. Three of us were just walking on the shore being quite, cos I guess all of us were amazed and lost in the beauty of the place. We walked and walked looking around, clicking pictures, making faces, chasing each other at times, and racing like kids. Everything felt right at that time, its didn’t matter actually, all right and wrong things were left behind. Imagine such an amazing beach and u r the only people on the beach. Would u really care then?? It felt as if we owned the place, and as if it was our territory.

After the first intro to the place we were starved cos we walked a lot. So had our lunch and then sat for sometime enjoying the wind. Got some rest in the afternoon. Today being the 1^st day we decided not to go in water and keeping this day a dry day. (in all ways J) day seemed smaller for some reasons cos the sunset was real early here. Then we talked, chit chatted. And as always I was the bakara for all sorts of leg pulling. I got to know a-b-c-d of “Dakarrr”. As we had eventful day we went to bed early planning for a good early morning jog for tomorrow morning.

The early morning happened to be at 10am. Cos we had such a good sleep, none of us woke up for the “planned jog”. Anyways that didn’t matter much cos we were on a vacationJ. Had breakfast, and then the real fun was there!!. We got into our short, kept all our imp gadgets in the room and just jumped into the water. Damn it was madness the waves had super force, the wind was super fast too, and the water was nicely cold. We looked like three kids who went in water for the 1^st time. We jumped, we hopped, we ran, and dashed on the waves. It was just awesome. Pure awesomeness. We sat in water, closed our noses and went bellow water. We were floating, we were trying to fight with waves, and top to bottom we were drenched. When we came out of the water it was almost 4 hours that we were in water and still we wanted to go back. Hell loads of chapp chapp like kids. Then what, good lunch and some rest cos even when our hearts wanted to go back in water the bodies were screaming for rest. Nikhil had some small problem in his knee too. So we got some rest. As it was a vacation for me having booze was an integral part of it. It was me and suku who had to go on our hunt to find booze Nikhil decided to stay back. We went to market brought booze (my favorite vodka). 1^st time I was buying booze N even when I was away from Nikhil may just for an hour or so, I was still missing him. Felt stupid to miss him like that stupidly in love I guess J. So then by the time we were back time for dinner with nice drinking session. Where me n Suku were d 1^st to finish our pegs and had to wait till Mr Nikhil finishes his. As always started blabbering the very moment I finished two pegs. Loads of stupidity, he stopped me from drinking more so we finished our small party and said good night..Frankly speaking I don’t remember when I sleptJ.

Next day morning we were in water little early. Did lots of masty today as well. These guys were busy playing in the water, I was busy listening to a good music and enjoying the waves. But as u know if u don’t have any thriller in the story it isn’t fun. Same thing happened here. Me being the girl my parents got hell conscious as to where I was and all. And they wanted to talk to someone I was with. Man shits u should have seen our faces. They didn’t know I was with Nikhil if they knew this trip wouldn’t have been there. So then we had to think and think for a way out. Having two tech savvy people with me helped. We made a conference call and it actually worked. God felt so good. Then again the trip was back on track. He gifted me a nice t-shirt which I wore today and it was good one as always. His choice is nice (including me) or may be he knows me so well that he knows what will look good on me. Today’s day was an eventful day, and the last day of the trip too cos we were to take train tomorrow back to Mumbai. Woke up early did all the packing and left the rooms. Our train being in the evening we had all possible time in the world to do time pass. We sat there doing nothing. Then me and Nikhil went for our last stroll on the beach promising that we would come back here soon. We took local bus to station and dumped our luggage on platform. We were almost 2-3 hours early. Sat there like three lukhas having no work in life. At 6:30pm boarded the train and that was the end of our small n fun vacation. So our journey back home started the moment train started. Felt little bad that it was over, but felt amazing for the fact that we had a good vacation.

Nikhil and Suku were to stay in Mumbai for two more days.

So I will be back with part-3 of the vacation or I would say Mumbai part of the vacation.. See ya.

Our 1st vacation.. -part1

2009-08-19T04:02:00.001-07:00

There were arguments, there were fights, there were days when we didn’t talk to each other and finally there was a day when we headed for our 1st vacation…that’s 5^th august 2009 place:Tarkarli-konkan.

Nikhil’s arrival in Mumbai was 11:30am and our train was at 11:00pm. Don’t get surprised with his early arrival like that. Cos sometimes it’s just too difficult to stay away so he decided that we will roam around a little in Mumbai and then catch our train. As we say everything isn’t ‘Merry go round’. I couldn’t go to airport to receive him cos some family things came up so Nikhil and Suku had to find their own way. Which I was sure Nikhil was capable of. But I was feeling really awful for not going to airport n then even after he was in my city I was still away from him, was definately a sad feeling. The most important thing which made me feel nice was, I just told him the reason for not coming and even before I could say anything he told me to take my time. i felt so relaxed n really wanted to say thanks to him for such an understanding. Anyways managed things as fast as possible n finally I was at Mochha where these guys were passing there time till I come (or I should say nicely enjoying there hukahh). Gave him a call n told him to come outside. And that was the moment, like every other time, when my smile went bigger my heart went faster and the world felt nicer, the very moment I m in his arms. Meet Suku (our common friend) who was visiting Mumbai for the 1^st time. So he was having a good bird watch. Then we started thinking as to what all we can do cos our train being in the night we had plenty of time. We headed for our lunch cos I knew these guys must have been hungry and I was hungry too (cos in the excitement of meeting him I had nothing since morning was just on my coffee .. J shuuuhhhhhh!!) so took these guys to an Chinese restaurant called ‘Stomach’. Did hell lot of time pass had good food and waited for Shweta to arrive.(shweta my friend but a perfect partner of Nikhil J). Finished our lunch, and then took Nikhil to my office cos people at work wanted to meet him. Sat there for some time and then went to nearby mall. Malls are the best places to do time pass even for the whole day, u sit there do nothing still no one comes to bother you. And anyways we looked like four lukhas who had nothing to do in life and were sitting there. Then there was Suku’s friend who came to meet him, Nikhil and shweta went and brought gifts for her ( nothing for me L) basically loads of time pass. Finally we left the mall and headed towards CST. As u all know when he is with me I forget half the things cos he takes away all my attention. We got into the local n then I realized I paid for our tickets but forgot to take them so we got down on the next station and brought new tickets. I hated myself for it and said sorry n no of times but still I m very foolish sometimes. Reached CST got settled in our seats, and the train started n the same moment the thought which travelled my mind was, finally our 1^st vacation he he. And the 1^st long distance journey with him the one I always wanted to go for. We talked for for a while but these guys were really tired cos they had come right after there shift and then there was whole lot of roaming around, so we said good night and were back on our own berths. Within seconds these guys were on the moon but I was awake for very long, partly cos of the happiness and partly cos of some moron making some stupid noises to seek my attentions..bloody idiot..

Overnight journey at around 11:30am we reached the resort. Before we reached there Nikhil gave me a warning saying that “hopefully the place is good or u are dead”. The moment we reached n saw the view my heart was full of pride for choosing this place. It was too good of a place. And isolated beach and small houses (our rooms) along the beach in the rows of trees. Amazing it was. I looked at him and noticed the small smile on his face when he was looking around. Held each other and thought as to how long we have to wait for this moment to come. And then Nikhil said “it’s gona be five years… our 1^st vacation” and both of us had a smile…

good start of vacation I guess..

To be continued ..

It’s just green

2009-07-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

My last Sunday was too good. No no I didn’t go for any picnic or something. Actually I didn’t have any weekly off and had to go for work even on Sunday. So u thinking as to how come that makes it to be nice Sunday right? I’ll tell you. .. Actually I woke up at 5:30am unlike my weekdays when I wake up by 7:00am reason being I had a site visit to go for and the site was no where nearby but it was in Puna. Yeah!! now u know why did I wake so early. So there our journey starts to puna at 7am in the morning from Andheri .in office car with one of my colleague (sir’s wife). But it was wired cos even after waking up so early (unlike my other Sundays when I wake up by 10 or 11) I was very happy just to be out on Sunday morning cos there was no crowd in the train, on the roads, it seemed like everything belonged to me and I was the only one there. Felt very refreshing to see Mumbai roads without traffic.

Like u know me , the moment I got into the back seat next to mam I started talking cos just the cheerful mood. This and that n our talks went on till the point when I realized that it was my 1^st ride to Puna by road, and as many people told me the Mumbai- puna express highway is amazing. That got me jumping in the front seat next to the driver. After a while we were out of Mumbai on main road the express highway. And I must say it was a perfect time for the drive less cars on the road cloudy day little bit of drizzle, totally perfect. I took over the music and played some amazing stuff perfect for the perfect weather.

I really have no idea how to put it in words, but still I will try. Every single corner of the view was filled with the nature’s beauty. It was all green, with the stark difference of black stone of the Cut Mountains cutting the way across this beauty. Penetrating trough the green with the superb road. The clouds were so thick n so low that one can’t figure out where mountain ends. The hill tops were just invisible. It felt like if I stretched my hand I could reach the clouds. The ghats were at the pick of its beauty. Our car was at the speed of 110 (thank god mam was sleeping in the back seat). Rushing through the heavy rains at times and just blowing wind sometimes. Cutting, shattering the water on the road splashing it in the air behind us. The vehicles which past by vanished in seconds in the dew of rains. We reached Puna so fast, that didn’t realize we travelled so much. As the city started the fun started to vanish somewhere. Still it being new city for me I had lot to see lot to observe. The day went by fine with our site visit. The house I m doing interiors for, was a nice flat 3bed-kitchen flat on 4^th floor, with nice view and a big terrace. And it was situated in good area. And some visit to a big tile shop which was 3 story showroom. Got to see lot more new things. So the went by well, but ended up making me go super tired and stressed out cos by then it was the 7^th day of the week I was continuously working. When we started our journey back I was dead my back n neck was gone given a chance I would have slept on the roads itself. So I sunken myself in the car. But no idea how all the energy was back in place when we left Puna city and were back in the beauty of greens. I go the camera out and was back with my photography. I reached home by 10:30pm n dragged myself in bed somehow, when I thought about the day as I always do it got me smile, cos whenever ill think of my first road ride to Puna, it will remind me of the greens all around and will make me feel refreshing within. But I must tell u clicking snaps sitting inside the car running at 110 isn’t an easy thing. I guess I have still managed well, take a look n let me know.

Enjoy...

GIRLY..GIRLY

2009-07-12T11:49:00.000-07:00

“GIRLS” what’s the first thing which comes to ur mind after this world? The physical factor, or the girly factor in her?...What defines a girl?. Physical things are natural but according to my observation, the girly factor plays an important role too. Now talking about girly factors, what does it exactly mean? or what all do fall under the name of “those girly factors”. Hmm let me think.. One most important would be the style, style in walking, dressing, talking as well as expressions. Now u would ask expression also has style, I would say yeah it does, for example I did hear many girls using word “isshh!!” (from movie devdas). And I wondered how natural that was. Or like people assume color PINK to be the girls favorite one. and every time I go for shopping the first color shop fellow shows me would be pink, n have to request him to show anything but pink, then he gets this big question mark on his face as if I m an alien or pink was the only color in his shop.. Dressing up putting up make-up are also known to be girly things. Isn’t natural beauty appreciated?

Style in dressing is fine with me. But style is talking in expression sounds wired to me. Just because I m girl do I need to follow all this. Or to be precise do I need to have those latake- zatake, those addayen. And how would it look if I try n give those intentionally.. I m sure it would look awful. I have many people telling me I m not at all like other girls, or they also end up saying that I m a girl by mistake. :D May be they say it cos I m frank. My way of expression is bold and straight forward. Or as they say it the so called girly factors are missing in me. I personally don’t know if I have those or I don’t, may be they are subtle hidden somewhere in me, which do pop up sometime. But I m a girl after all, may be little tomboy types. What makesa girl, is her emotion, feelings and not all the superficial things.

I would say i m the way I m, and still I m girl... and happy to be different than other girls, whichever way it might be. :)

Whats "Love"

2009-06-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

Something intresting i came across..enjoy..

A group of 4 to 8 year-old Children was asked, "What does love mean?" The
answers they gave were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

What is Love???*

--"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday" (Tina - age 7)

--"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else
kissing me to sleep at night." (Clare - Age 5)

--"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You
know that your name is safe in their mouth." (Billy - age 4)

--"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint
her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time,
even when his hands got arthritis too.. That's love." (Rebecca - age 8 )

--"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
fries without making them give you any of theirs." (Chrissy - age 6 )

--"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." (Terri - age 4 )

--"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." (Danny - age 7)

--"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well." (Tommy - age 6 )

--"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all
the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the
only one doing that.. I wasn't scared anymore. That's love" (Cindy -age 8

--"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." (Elaine -
age 5)

--"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone
all day." (Mary Ann - age 4 )

Love.............is not only made for lovers....... its also for friends
who luv each other sometimes better than lover....

the BMC toilet story..

2009-06-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

Venue: Worli BMC (Architectural) office.

Time: 1:15pm

Me and my clique. Both of us sitting at deputy architects table. Waiting for him to come back n give us our file and get our work done. It’s been three odd hours that e are in this office. We have submitted drawings for one project and today was the meeting. Meeting was done with and we are waiting for the approval. it’s a lunch time and I m hell hungry m cursing the officer in my mind with all the possible bad words I know. I waited for 10 more min and told Brijesh (my clique) that I will go and get freshen up a little. When I search for ladies toilet I came to know . in an BMC architectural office, there they have gents and ladies toilet on different floors. Amazing isn’t it. Me being on the second floor and second floor having just gents toilet. What an amazing design. I had to come to 1^st floor. I entre the loo n open the tap Bhuussshh…!! All the water drained on my feet cos the wash basin had no pipe at its bottom, it was all open from bellow. Isn’t that a smart design u get to wash ur feet also when u are washing ur hands. Let’s move on.. The only ladies toilet for the whole building has only two W.C (great!!) . I slowly pushed the door to check if its clean enough. Thankfully it is! I entre inside n push the door. Before I could do anything the door is locked. And there is no latch no handle nothing inside, for me to hold on to and pull open the door. Woo!! I try I try pushing it kicking it.. Nothing works apart from one thing that I realize.. “Darshana ! u r stuck in a public toilet in an BMC building!!” I laugh I go on laughing with that for next 2 min. then I look around to see some way out, the window. I can remove the lowers and go out.. hello hello!! Woman u are on 1^st floor u can’t jump down. So what’s the next option?? Thankfully had my cell with me..I call up Brijesh. “hello Brijesh , I m stuck in the toilet..” Brijesh: “which toilet?” me: “what nonsense off course ladies” (wrong time wrong question) Brijesh: “what do I do now” .me : “ u mind coming and opening the door” ok ok..after 3 more min he came and opened the door..till then I m laughing .. and I laugh for some more time .. by the time I reached the table everyone on the floor seem to know I was stuck. I laugh I laugh some more.. I come back to my office. And told this to people and we all laughed.. and we discussed all possibilities of how it would have been if I didn’t have my cell.. or I was alone there..??..so whole lot of fun..

But learnt a lesson today..Always check the door of any public toilet.. especially when its an government building :P

Take care.

my 1st intro as an "ARCHITECT"

2009-05-07T05:30:00.000-07:00

Sitting in the office and thinking as to why am I working here , why am I a part of this office. All this is going on in my mind, sitting at the lunch table munching one bite. And the phone rings its sir’s call for me.
Sir: “Darshana I have an urgent meeting. My laptop is in office itself. So come down and give me that laptop. I need it. I m at U.D.RI...”
Me: “ok sir, I’ll be there in sometime”. Call ends.

What the hell !!. Is that may job to deliver ur laptop. Where ever u r? Being an architect in ur office is that what m I suppose to do? But knowing the fact that I m the only one at that moment in the office who knew where is UDRI and who is linguistic enough to reach there. Unlike the kerla guys in my office. Even all the helping staff was out of office for some work or the other. So it was obvious that even when I didn’t want to step out of a good chilled office room to outside 38’c temperature at 1:30 in the noon, I had to. With all those feeling I had to leave office and for sure the thought of “why am I in this office “became stronger with the burning sun over my head.

Now let me tell u what UDRI is till I reach there. Urban Development Research Institute (of Mumbai). This is one of the major institute of the city which handles development planning and research work. Being in architecture for 5yrs now I have seen the kind of contribution to the city and kind of work UDRI does. But have never been able to visit this place. Cos even going there to refer any books or any of such work isn’t that easy. U got to have reference later from college this and that. Most important is that my sir is one the heads of that institute. Google about UDRI Mumbai and u will find more details.

After around 45min traveling by rick-train-taxi I reached there and gave him laptop, with all outside heat sucked up in my head. I just gave him his laptop and told him that I’ll leave now. Sir: “no no wait for sometime sit here.” Me (to myself): what now, what the hell I would do sitting here. But still I sat. Sir came after 5 min with a young female and introduced me to her. Sir: “Deepali, this is Darshana, she is an architect and she works with me. Please will u explain her what are we working on currently.” I greeted with a smile and said to myself wow! Good intro an architect ?P feels nice. This making my temperature come back to normal a little. So she sat with me explaining me what they are working on, and gave me some n books they have published- Mumbai Readers. So sat there surfing through the books. Then someone came and told me “Darshana, sir has said u will have to sit for the meeting that we are going to have in sometime.” I was like why now, I don’t even know what the meeting is about. But still I went for the meeting. When I entered the conference room, there were 10 experienced people sitting there, and two firangs. And the only empty chair was next to one firang, so I had to sit there. Meeting started with the introduction by my sir. And then I came to know the meeting was about migration of Indians to gulf (Dubai). And the firang was the speaker for the meeting. He was a big Dutch architect and was also a part of very big architectural ferm called OME. The other people sitting there were heads of UDRI and some masters student. That left with me being the most junior. Wow!! The feeling was awesome. I was sitting at the conference of such a big institute with so many big guys. for such an important discussion. Leaving a big wide smile on my face. The meeting was about the collaboration of two different institutes for some research work. Meeting went on for very long time with lot of good topics and all. And I was all attentive, had to cos sitting next to the head of the meeting u can’t afford to doze off :D. Meeting got over after some hours. i said bye to sir and left. But smile was still on. And the question was vanished in the air which was playing on my mind “why am I in this office?” I was happy that it was me who had to deliver sir his laptop, and felt great that he considered me important enough to make me a part of such a big thing as an ARCHITECT. :D

its just me now..

2009-04-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

“What an attitude” that was my 1^st impression on her. I don’t know whether I was showing attitude or I was little reserved. in 1^st few months we were just casually together. No friendship, no rivalry, nothing. By the end of 1^st year things changed a little and by 2^nd year we were great friends. Both of us were really different from each other. Neither our likings were same nor our interests, but still there was a bond between us, which held two different people together. She was my true mentor. There were lot of bad things in me, She was the one who pointed it out to me and made me improve myself in many aspects. She was too adorable and the sensible one in two of us. We gave each other shoulders, we gave each other slaps. We giggled together, we shared things. She came and shared all possible small details of her personal life with me so did i. she was all crazy stupid, so I was. Then like the way seasons change and there is summer after winter,time being the reason. Here things changed but time wasn’t the reason. Things changed, the bond kept on falling lose, the affection went on vanishing. I kept on feeling it inside but never could do anything. Cos in friendship u cant force, it comes from heart, it comes on its own. I was lost, I was irritated, I was being possessive, and I made a mistake. Realized it as well, felt guilty as well, apologized as well. But it was enough of a reason for that bond to break. She kept on going away from me. I stretched my hand to hold hers, but she was gone, she had turned her back to me to even see how badly I was trying to reach her again, how badly I wanted her by my side, as my mentor, as my best pal. But she had moved ahead, she had found a new bond.. She moved ahead and never looked back. I kept standing there.. and now there is just me.. .. Without her by my side …

nikhil

2009-04-23T01:48:00.000-07:00

Guess what.. Today’s post is not going to be about something but it’s about someone. And that someone is Nikhil. Wondering why suddenly writing about him, reason being I want to really find out what I think of him (not that I don’t know but never penned it down), and also go little public about it … J

Nikhil..

Knowing him for years now, made me realize one thing, that he is a gem of a person. The one who is full of fun, one who is all

cheerful. One who goes all nuts when it comes to having pizza n burgers. Who has great sense of humor and u can’t stop laughing when u are with him. The one who can go really crazy pulling leg. I m sure all those who know him would agree with me for all this.

But there are few things I personally admire about him…

He has a good head on his shoulders. He knows how to tackle critical things. Really a sensible guy. And has been my true mentor.

There is a sweet kid hidden in him who keeps on popping his head every now and then especially when it’s about food and games.

Have good patience, damn good listener. If u r the person who loves to talk u have found a right guy. He would let u talk as much as u want and he would also give his inputs. So now u know why do I talk so much. J

Damn straight forward. If u do something he doesn’t like or feels isn’t right, he would tell u flat on ur face, no back stabbing at all.

If u want any honest opinion about something, u would always get an unbiased opinion from him. And he won’t be judgmental ever.

Very flexible, and would very well gel well with anyone.

True sweetheart with train full of love for everyone who is on his hit

list. If u ask for help u would always get one.

Some things I really hate about him:

He loves sleep more than anyone and anything on this planet. Given a chance he can sleep for 24hours at a stretch.

Little moody, if u want him to do something and he inst in mood, even if u break ur head it won’t be done by him until and unless he feels its imp to do that.

Loves junk food like anything. And for ur surprise if he eats homemade food 24/7 he would fall ill. Ready for chicken anytime of the day. And if there is a pizza in front of him the company doesn’t matter, cos that person would be nicely ignored and would be nicely neglected till the last bite of that pizza.

Talking about reactions. Don’t u ever expect any instant or sponta

neous reaction from him for something sweet u have done. His reaction would come slow, may be by the time they come to u, u wouldn’t remember what are they for. :P not really but still, he doesn’t know how to express for any of the emotion.

He thinks too much, even when he has most blank face there would be 100 things running at the back of his mind.

Very shy, yes!! Even after knowing him for so long, he is still shy of loads of things, for example dancing. I haven’t been able to find out whether he really knows dancing or not. Cos we have never danced together. L

But most important thing which attracts me the most to him is, He has his unique way in whatever he does… and there is nothing fake about him, whatever comes, comes straight from his heart.. :)

Finally done!!

2009-04-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

Finally I am free, done with the exam. And it went well too. The juror I had was quite cool so I hope ill get done with it. Still there was enough of drama. As always things with me don’t go so easy same thing happened this time as well. Thinking about my last jury, it was good enough of a lesson for me. I was late for the jury and that fellow refused to take the exam. So this time I finished my work beforehand (not totally but still) and I was sitting chit chatting before my roll call. After my exam I made a record to sleep for 15hours at a stretch, nothing compared some people I know J J . But still, me being the person with minimum sleep this was a big thing. But all such sequential events in my curriculum has made me strongly believe, that there is something know as good luck, and this luck factor takes over ur efforts many a times. And this luck factor has never been in my favor in my studies ever.
Anyways… Today’s day also went all boring cos, I didn’t do anything apart from orkuting, facebooking, and gmailing. So nothing that was interesting. One sweet thing happened today though. Sumitra wrote a post about Nikhil. And I really felt great reading it, and was too happy to read something so nice about him, I would like to say thanks to Sumi.
To my surprise I have no topic to write about, I am just blank. May be that’s a void in time after such a rush rush in life. Ill get back to u people after I m cross this void and get back to the ocean of my own thoughts. See you soon …

in self's company..

2009-04-05T06:31:00.000-07:00

siting here in a boring room,..

just another stupid Sunday afternoon..

i m westing my time, , i have got nothing to do... .. .

This boredom is gonna kill me. not that i haven't got anything to do, but i m bored of what i have got to do.. ?? ?? i know i know..

But i want to ask a question to u all, my dear readers. do u really wait for weekends ?? i mean really the way people talk about it on TV on FM radio,and the way people talk about it in there friends circles. Do u really look forward for weekends for all the weekdays?? When it comes to me, i have never waited for any weekend in my life. cos there has not been any exciting weekend for me. When i was in collage there was no need for a special weekend. We used to have fun anytime when we felt like. At that time i used to feel that weekends are for the working people. who slog all the week and go out enjoy . party around for refreshment on weekends. So they can be back to work all refreshed on Monday morning. Now when i have joined my office, this weekend factor isn't inn my life as of now. (i wonder why??) i mean this will make u have an impression of me being the biggest boring girl on the planet. but its not true. So siting here today i m trying to find out as to why i m never excited about the weekends like others.. There are many things actually first and the imp one is the set of close friends that i have aren't party freak like me. another one might be, every weekend most of them have some family thing or the other. (they r really family family type kids, not like me :) } Other reason might be this city, the mumbai, the fun n crazy city as we all know it. Cos of its geography and if u know the map its a linear city so travelling in mumbai takes a lot of ur time. On weekends i m no where in mood to get into a local train n travel some KM just to watch a movie (i m not at all a movie person) After visiting few other cities, (thanks to our study trips), i have started hating this city for this travelling aspect of it. i strongly feel smaller the city better the life is. And the last and the worst reason is the office that i m in right now has no good people, good as in people i would like to hang out with. stupid office. huhhh.. There are lot of important and good points about this ferm,like the kind of work they do.and kind of exposer i m getting here but this is a worst one that i m the youngest person in the office. and have no one interesting there. Working in this ferm have made me believe that having a good companion at the work place is really really important. so sitting here in a boring room i did something interesting i managed to find the reasons for not having an exciting weekend. Also one more thing i though of just now is, why do need to have someones company always to have good time. U urself can be ur company. isnt it?? and the way this life goes u cant be always having someone by ur side. so decided today on words i will try n enjoy my own company by doing something interesting.. i guess as of now i will sit in my garden with my coffee observing the people passing by.. and may be a small walk after that, what say ?? good idea isn't it?? so me off for my weekend fun.. u guys having ur rocking weekend..

take care..

happy to have u back.. :)

2009-04-02T11:45:00.000-07:00

i never ever knew that i m so attached to my laptop. but importance of somethings r known only when u dont have them isn't it?? yeah u have guessed it right my laptops hard disk got crashed , cos of my own stupidity itself. stupid me i hate myself for being so careless though. it happened around last week. i woke up next morning and was about to sit for my work but laptop refused to start itself. and the whole proses followed after that,running the diagnosis, trying to boot from CD, running in safe mode this and that. by the end of the day it was finalised that my hard disk was gone bad. with that my mood was also dead. i had to wait for two days to give time for it cos those were the last two days of my office so had to put in all the efforts to finish all the work given to me. so finished that. then yesterday finally got time and went got the HDD replaced, installed everything and then my sweetheart was back all alive ready to serve me.. he he.. hmm i know it must be sounding quite dumb to u that i m writing about my HDD crash.. there must be n number of people with n number of HDD crashing everyday. but for me its not just my PC but its my dear pal who is always there with me. u know we always say whatever happens , happens for good. this HDD crash also in a way ended being a good thing cos i learnt quite a bit about laptops the diagnosis, F8, F12, F2, system restore, factory restore, OS install and also how to get the HDD out.. he he learning all of this was fun. cos its always good to learn new thing even when they r not related to ur profession. but i hope i wont have to do all of this on my PC again, hope for no more stupid mistakes.. by the i wanna say one thing here "my dear laptop i m really happy to have u back". :)

my loss :(

2009-03-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys for not keeping u updated about me for so long.. was a technical problem, my laptop’s adaptor was gone bad.. so now i m back cos i brought the new adaptor now.. so how r u??.. nothing much has been happening in my life as such. Just office, personal work that’s it, oh sorry!! How can i forget to tell u this... forgot to tell u something imp the only interesting thing which happened in life is i had a short trip to Hyderabad.. yeah i know .. Wasn’t really a planned trip, but it ended being a good one. Will have to write a separate post about it for sure. :P
But today’s post is not about all of that, its about what i lost today. I mean for u or for anyone else it may not sound as a big lost. But for me it is. Some days ago i had to format my Pc i did take a backup. Everything went well, i installed all the stuffs back, i loaded my data back but one file was missing ..that word file where i wrote down all the imp sms from important someone. And the crazy part is its been quite some time for this thing but today when i was reading some old sms on my cell it strike me that the word file is missing from my PC. And that was the moment of the realization of this loss..i hate myself to be so careless... i m very much attached to the whole sms thing cos those small line.. Those sweet nothings,, and more over its like preserving those small talk ..in the form of sms.. so i m all sad today... for this lost ..and i wanna say one thing i miss u my “sms word file” (named “moi’s sms”) and ill always miss u.. L
(did i tell u that my cell phone has capacity to store 700 sms.. J yeah i know!!)

my b'day gift

2009-02-23T09:49:00.000-08:00

whats is this ??or why is this here??? wait let me tell u..these are just some snaps of the beautiful gift which i got on my b'day from suku... who sent it to me all the way from hyderabad..Amazing isn’t it..thanks to Nikhil that he carried it all the way with him. I was really happy to see this gift. Not because i love plans and all (that was the reason too) but mostly for the thought behind it. to send the good luck plant , to send that good luck all the way 900km. That thought was amazing. I really felt like giving him a big fat hug. Thanks suku (sukumar). Talking about suku, he is kind of new friend of mine through a common link that we have that’s Nikhil. But since the time we have spoke to each other that common link is sidelined and now i can very well say that me and suku are friends. He is nice guy as much as i have got to know about him. True hearted and adorable as well. Little sentimental, little bit of filmy, but fun, yeah and philosopher as well but in a limit... yeah that’s good the philosophy is in limit cos I can’t be with people with too much of it. But he is good guy and i know him for such a short time now but seems like we know each other for quite long..oh come on !! This doesn’t sound filmy.. I mean it ok.. but one thing i liked about him is , he is very optimistic. And he has this positive energy in him. I really admire him for that. As i always feel that, there is this special thing about each and every individual that makes us different or i would rather say unique. And i always feel that’s something we should learn from each other. So from suku this is what i m going to learn.. to be optimistic. But i m sure there is lot more stored in there for me in this new gem i have found.. so i m going to wait to know more and more about him.. and surely ill keep u updated about it.. as of now i m very happy to find a new friend.. someone worth calling a friend (after a long time).. :)

yuppy!!! :)

2009-02-18T10:46:00.000-08:00

finally found new look for my blog...
:) it was good enough of an hunting business.. but this is my own space ..so efforts don't count...

thanks to nikhil for the technical part though.. thanks a lot sweetheart..
so how do u all find the new look of .. comments are most awaited...
:)
take care..

unusual..

2009-02-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

9:15am Churchgate fast local. Ladies compartment, usual crowd. But something unusual today. Something or I should say someone unusual. That face which didn’t belong to that place. She was sitting there on a forth seat. Everyone who entered kept asking here as to where she wanted to get down. She didn’t reply she kept looking at everyone, and she kept quite. I looked into her eyes, and could only see one thing fear. I wondered what was she afraid of. She wore an outfit with all possible colours in the colour palate, silver jewellery all over her, oiled hair. And she bared a smell, not of any perfume but may be a smell of that place where she belonged, may be a smell of all those sweaty days, or may be just a smell of her poverty. She kept sitting there, and someone or the other kept asking her. I turned and looked at her once. But there was one thing i could not miss about her, her eyes. At that moment I felt as if she was wrapped in her cocoon and the only thing which visible was, her eyes. She got up finally, i thought she will get down, but she went near the door and stood at the corner. She looked around and saw everyone giving there glance to her. Then she looked down looked at her feet, she kept looking down. I wondered what she must be thinking of, nothing came to my mind. May be because we belonged to different place, or belonged to different worlds all together. It was time for me to get down so i went to the door. I kept looking at her, hoping for some communication, so that i could help her. But there was nothing. At one moment she looked up her eyes moved and they meet mine i gave her a small smile, cos i thought that was the only possible way of communication. I think she smiled back at me, or it was just her eyes, or my assumption. But they were still scared, lost, confused. Some aunty asked her again where she had to go, she said nothing, and she got down. Did she really know where she had to go, or people forced her to get down. Train moved on but my mind was stuck, it reminded me of that theory in science taught to us. The theory of evolution, ‘survival of the fitessed’. And i think it still applies to us, we the so called evolved human beings...

Celebrity Collage

2009-02-06T08:37:00.001-08:00

keep moving on..

2009-02-02T10:16:00.000-08:00

Another ditch in the road...u keep moving..
Another stop sign ....u keep moving on... – Savage garden
Perfect words for this unpredictable life of ours. Isn’t it?? Where u don’t really know what’s in stored for us in next moment. Something good may be something bad or something totally crazy. Sometimes i think ‘surprise ‘is a perfect synonym for ‘life’. But the problem here is we always relate surprise to something good. But bad things happen with a surprise too its just that we don’t call it a surprise. Human emotions, they are always been a mystery to me. We fall, we fail, we cry but we still stand up again, we stand up for some more surprise to live. Without thinking about good or bad.
I haven’t seen much in my life but how much ever i have seen, how much ever i have learnt..i know one thing “HOPE FOR GOOD”.. and keep moving..
Another ditch in the road...u keep moving..
Another stop sign ....u keep moving on..
that’s the key to live this life, isn’t it??

next day celebration 6-7th Ian

2009-01-19T11:08:00.000-08:00

Yes !! yes finally managed, and that also in a good way. Guess what? Ok let me tell u as to what am i talking about. And if u have read the previous post u must have got the hintJ.
Its always been same or i should say mostly its been same when Nikhil comes here. We meet, we eat n go to mall watch some movie, then a good lunch, ice cream and a long stroll on beach. Not that i don’t like doing that, but then this time his trip was on a good occasion, my b’day and most importantly it was our 4th anniversary too. So was really a big reason. I thought let’s do something else. As always we ended discussing what we will do all these days, planning the trip this way that way. And i was doing my own planning separatelyJ. I must say thanks to shweta cos she was my inspiration for the plan.
My b’day went fine but real happiness struck me when i went to bed and had a thought that I’ll be meeting him tomorrow. Trust me even that thought brings a big smile on my face and i thought what would be the best b’day gift than this one. So slept with that smile on my face which i knew would continue for next two daysJ. So woke up to airport, reached 20 min late though cos of some reason and hated myself for wasting those 20 min. But then all the hatred and irritation was gone when i saw him n the next moment i was in his arms and everything felt right after that. Everything felt to be perfect. Then what he thought we will go to rahuls place drop his bags and then go on our planed trip. But there was something special waiting for him. We took a taxi to dadar i told him we are going to some new place to eat. But when we reached there he had very confused look on his face cos all he could see all around us was just buses and there was no signs of restaurant or anything there. Cos there it was a small surprise or shock or i don’t know what it was on his face when i told him “we are going to lonawala”. I guess i must have a had a bigger smile than him to give him this surprise. Didn’t get much reaction from him L but convinced myself by saying that he is sleepy thas why . And didn’t really want to fight and spoil the mood of the trip. (see i have such a big heart ) so got into the bus and was on our journey for small little trip planed by me J finally saw that smile as a reaction with a remark “that’s something interesting” when we got into the bus. Before we could realise we were in front of the resort i had found for our stay. Was very sweet and smooth journey though, puna express highway after all. It was my 1st journey on that road quite surprising isn’t it? Even after being in Mumbai for so many years now. Anyways that’s not important let’s get back to the trip. The place that i chose was quite nice and there wasn’t any crowd around may be cos it was an off season. So then what, dumped the luggage in the room and we were set for our trip in our own world. Went out and had lunch and i had a big glass of lassy after lunch (yeah!!) and then as he had just come after his night shift i thought of giving him some time to sleep so both of us slept. To tell u frankly i wasn’t feeling sleepy i just kept looking at him, he was looking so relaxed. Its a nice feeling to look at him, to look at someone who comes all the way just to see one smile on my face. i must say i really wait for this moment. Don’t get to do this often right?? So didn’t even realise it passed 3 hours or so then. Woke him up and then we went for a good walk followed by coffee and then dinner. It was very pleasant weather there. We could actually feel winter there and road was quite empty too. That sounds lovely isn’t it? It was indeed. But there was something going on at the back of my mind. So when we reached the resort i told him to go out for a while, cos one more surprise was waiting for him there J. When he came back the room was lit with candles and music was playing and i was little dressed. Yeah defiantly i could see the effect on his face. And as i had always imagined it so we did a ball room dance or some dance i should say. But was too good. Not the dance just this feeling of being with him. Then we talked n talked and talked and that went on till 12 or so then we had to sleep cos after all we needed some rest.
Like always the morning started with my worthless efforts to wake him up, to go for a morning walk. Which obviously took an hour but at least i m happy that MR made an effort to come out of the room. So had a very nice walk enjoying the winter with golden sunrise. Had breakfast and then went back. Packed our bags and left for Mumbai. And u know what we did on our journey, we both slept. Like two small kids. Sweet .sweet. then dropped the bags at rahuls place and went for lunch. I wasn’t really happy to get back to the rush rush life of Mumbai really was missing lonawla. Anyway we had lunch and then went to beach had to right? cos we always end the trip there. Meet rahul, vachan and shweta for dinner. But the time bomb was still there at the back of my mind. And then there was that moment which i hate the most to say bye to him. All of us went to airport to drop him. So all that sad sad bye was done with soon cos rahul moron kept giving me missed calls even at that moment (hated him for it). All of us were on our way to home. But this time it wasn’t that difficult cos of all these people. So that’s how the real celebration of my b’day and anniversary was. I was really good isn’t it??. And moreover i managed to give him a good surprise. That’s is an achievement for me trust me.
But to tell u frankly nothing matters, all the efforts that u take, all the planning everything, for the one that u really miss all the time, u miss being with him all the time and then u gather those moments till the next trip...the moments which make me miss him more but along with a smile on my face...
Thank you my love for giving me some more reasons to smile..

My b'day- 5th jan 2009

2009-01-14T23:00:00.000-08:00

Sorry people I took so long to write again actually now a days its kinda difficult to sit n do anything after office.. and even the net was down for sometime now so even when I finished writing I couldn’t upload it. But still now, I m trying my best to schedule my day..n find time for everything or I should say most of it. Let’s see how that comes up.

Anyways it was my b’day on 5th of jan. like it is every year. :D but it wasn’t like my b’days in last few years cos this time I wasn’t in collage but my office. So I wasn’t really excited about it. So didn’t even dress up or got ready for the b’day was in my usual dress up. Went to office little sleepy cos few friends of mine did call me at 12 so that was a good start. But when I went to office nobody actually remembered my b’day. It made me miss my class so much cos every b’day u entre the class n 40 people will sing for u as loud as possible. And then all of them will give u warm hugs, with some compliments and yeah how can I forget ‘D CAKE SONG’. Its been the tradition or I should say style of my class that after u sing a b’day song we would all sing cake cake cake cake… for real long time in good synchronized form. Sounded great though. And then we would sing in every lecture and end up passing some time of the lecture in this. Was great great fun. I miss u all my class buddies. I miss u a lot.. Hmm so somehow mam saw the date n she wished me. But I hate all other colique of mine all the stupid kerala guys. Even after knowing its my b’day they didn’t wish me.. Anyways there wish . so nothing then was stuck with the work . but if people really wanted me to work on the b’day day… I was getting calls in every hour from someone or the other. And all were in good mood to chit chat.. Don’t know why, thank god mam didn’t say anything cos I was on call most of the time. :P
The best call was suku, I love him so much cos he was the only guy who called me and he actually sang for. And that too very nicely. So sweet of him. He made my wish come true at least someone sang for me. That was really good. BIG hug for u suku. And this was d first time I cut the cake in a civilized manner. Or in collage it was like u just touch ur knife ( or scale, cutter, and sometime just the finger :D ) to the cake n then wear it. I m sure it used to never take more than 5seconds for the cake to vanish. Was fun. So this cake cutting isn’t what I like to do .. But that’s how it was. Then what went home had dinner with the family and slept. So that’s how my b’day The only thing I liked that I did was I eat rasagullas today. Wow that was awesome. Cos that the only sweet I loooooove to eat. Muh mai pani aagaya yar. So that’s it. But the real celbration was going to be on the next day wanna know why, cos me and nikhil were to meet next day ..i know u want to know .. Wait, wait the next post is about that only…
J Have fun..

isolated beauty.. 28/12/08

2008-12-30T21:29:00.000-08:00

Iceland is the best place for any kind of vacation. The geography itself isolates u from the world around and takes u to new place altogether.(for sure I m talking about the small Icelands here).
It was on our mind for very long time to visit Arnala fort near virar. If u have read the old blog u will know how we tried going but then were not mentally prepared. But this time we were all ready for it. Reached the beach at around 11:00am (one hour lateJ anyways). And then came to the jetty where we had to catch a boat, yes the same one we got scared of . But this time there was no fear at all. We pulled our pants up n jumped in the boat, was good fun to see the boat little empty than last time. 10min more and we were on our destination ‘Iceland’. There was no one waiting for us there neither anyone we knew, but strong fish smell welcomed us with all its love. All of us eat fish so we didn’t mind the smell. Moreover we ended up taking snaps with fish. And making someone taste fish. J so there we start having fun and going crazy.
The fort isn’t big, n there isn’t much to see inside the fort because there is just the fort wall and one temple inside. Still as we were not in hurry and being in architecture interest us in any of such things. So we climbed the steps which took us on the top of the wall. The view of the sea all around was really worth a see. As u know me and my cartoon we clicked many snaps .or I should say funny snaps. Fort wall wasn’t that big so we thought we will take a good 360 walk. Then we were on our journey of that walk. When our stomach started calling we got down from the wall n sat in a small shaded area (can call it arcade) and opened our tiffin. It reminded me of the school picnics when we used to ask each other to what u have in ur tiffins.(good old days) We all knew there wont be any hotel on the fort so all of us had tiffins. Except Pritish, but he is excused cos he doesn’t stay with his family.

And u wont imagine how amazing it felt to sit on that cold basalt stone with that cooling breeze, and for sure the good food, thanks to vidhi for butter chicken . love u sweetheart. So had nice lunch there. Sat there chit chating cos we hardly meet nowadays cos of the office. At one point Ritesh said we will always be like this and won’t split up. All agreed to it. And to tell u frankly I love all of them I wont like even a singe person going out of the group. Have my fingers crossed. Anyways we didn’t get any emotional cos the place was too good to do that..i don’t remember whose idea was that but I know u would find it wired that we did a proper ramp walk there with Pritish being the show stopper.( yeah he did that J) I must say it was funny as well as good. Good fun. After all the fun we were back to the 360 walk of ours. And then again at one point we got all involve in a good photo session. Like we have always been in all our outings. When Pritish becomes the photographer and we all his models. The photos came out to be really good though.And the scariest moment was when we saw a live snake passing in front of us. Me and Rush are super scared of the snake and I m sure the snake must have freacked too cos of the way screamed. Phhhat gayi thi big time. The walk was soon over with after the snake thing. We ended up jumping like kids when we saw a pile of hey. We couldn’t resist to jump on it cos have never done that before. Was too good of a fun. Had to run away from there cos people were giving us looks. Its not that we really are but still we had lot to explore. Next good surprise was the beach. it was all empty and the water was crystal clear . with loads of small shells on the beach. Reminded us about or 1st year trip to devgad. We enjoyed the water. Played there. Made some visionary pose J. And left that place, next destination was light house but we couldn’t do much there cos there was no way to reach the top of it. Only our monkey (Pritish) managed to climb up and peep.
So that’s how the whole outing happened and then we were back on our journey home. But the big fun was to get into the boat again. We got all wet and didn’t care much. Then nothing, back to our own places, back to the concrete jungle. Waiting for our next trip which would mostly be another amazing place Kaneri caves, national park, that also on our cycles. Let’s see how that comes up.
Will surely tell, u till then u have fun, and try to get out of our concrete jungle cos there is much more stored in there for us in the arms of nature….

15th - Finally the first day!

2008-12-17T08:27:00.000-08:00

Yes yes u are right finally the first day of my office. Reached on time because didn’t want any bad impression on the very first day. Was nicely dressed with formal shirt, n formal shoe so was very happy in a way. But as u know it too much of excitement might just spoil things yeah I agree it does. I actually got down a little early and had to walk down for two signals almost. Was fine though cos I m not that against of walking. Even after that managed to reach on time.
I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or bad, but when I entered the office there were all guys not a single girl. So when I stepped in all of them turned and looked at me. Was kind of weird feeling but still managed to hide it n said a casual good morning n introduced myself. Sat on the computer which was empty n just did something or the other to make myself feel normal.
After sometime mam came and trust me I was never so happy to see some female like I was today. She sounds like a sweet lady lets see. So finally had some female companion. Then I was given one project to work on so got involve in that … to tell u frankly the funniest thing that I felt was when one of my clique told me that all the guys in the office are from keral. I was like OK. No! no ! I don’t have any bad opinion about kerala ppl its just that I wont be knowing if they talk about me anything that’s all. Oh by the way guy who sits next to me he talks a little more… but I m sure I m going to have some quite months of my life …. I hope this doesn’t happen…

So that’s how I have started my office . ill keep u updated tough till then take care….

5th

Expect the unexpected :)

2008-12-14T10:33:00.000-08:00

Nikhil always says this “expect the unexpected” and follows that when it comes to giving me surprises. Ok I know I know u must be eager to know what surprise he gave me this time. No actually not a surprise but this trip happened all of a sudden. Something went wrong in Jodhpur so had to rush an reach there as soon as possible. So he stayed thr for some days and as always we thought of meeting on his journey back home. So that’s what I m talking about that we meet unexpectedly….
As always I had that BIG smile when we decided to meet. So we meet on 12th, but before I forget I would love to say one thing here that ‘I HATE INDIAN RAILS’ why do they have to make trains run late when we meet for such a small span of time. Yeah train was late this time as well for 45 min L duffer trains. Anyway cant do much about that. So we meet and I forgot all my anger everything n it was all magic of his love in d air the moment I saw him. I always find it magical. N this magic made things little bad for me cos I made him get into a wrong train …he he…I know he is going to make me listen to that again n again. But I cant help it the whole feeling of meeting him is so overwhelming that it makes me forget everything. (but still wrong train is little too much I know ;)
Finally we reached rahuls place that’s where he had planed to stay for the night. So he got freshened up. So we sat there had some talk with uncle aunty. But to tell u frankly at one time it looked like we r a married couple . me talking to aunty n Nikhil talking to uncle. Then we left for our lunch which was planed by me. And different place for sure cos as u know he keeps on taunting me for not taking him to new places. “yoko sizzlers’ was d destination. So had good lunch there. N then we were on our search for some gift for our sweetheart avantika (ruchi’s daughter). And u know what we ended up buying diapers for her yeash … J ruchi didn’t know that her brother was also coming to meet her so that was good surprise for her. Avi took a long time to come to us . n u should have seen our faces we looked like tow bhikharis waiting for her smile.. still we managed to hold her n play with her after sometime. And I must say she is pretty n have big eyes like me. J he he… so left ruchi’s place with smile and with some glimpse of our future life. Was a sweet thought.
As always we wanted to end our day peacefully. Beach has always been our favourite place for a nice long stroll. and it was a low tide so was a good empty place for some quality time. The spotlight was real big today for some reason (I hope u remember the spotlight the moon) and as u know I love those moonlight walks with him. It added and extra flavour to those moments. Spent some time there telling each other how much we missed all these moments..how much we missed each other all this time. and telling each other nothing but still everything……then the sweet note was the ice-cream . and again his was d nicer flavour. But didn’t really matter cos all flavour got mixed up later…. So with that sweet note we were on our own ways waiting for tomm to come so that we can meet gain….. see u tomm…bye..

Lucky charm :)

2008-12-04T11:38:00.000-08:00

I m sure all of u must have become a lucky charm for someone in ur life at least once. So how did u feel being a lucky charm?? Being someone’s lucky charm is a sweet feeling for sure. Yupe!! I became a lucky charm for someone today, my friend “shashi’. I m sure u wanna know why my I calling myself to be his lucky charm. Let me tell u..

I m actually helping him to design the interior of his house. (1^st real project !!yeah) so in the morning he came to my place regarding the same thing. I showed him my inputs and ideas. He was very impressed to see the whole design in 3D form. The sense of satisfaction n some more trust about me and work was clearly visible on his face. So had a talk, he gave his inputs, I gave him some advice regarding the quotation and the budget of the project this and that. as both of us had to go out we left together. Me and shashi actually stay in same area just 15min away from each other but on opposite sides. so two of us hardly cross paths n meet. (u will know why m I telling u all this) on our way to station shashi was littlie quite so I asked him as to what was on his mind. He thought for a moment and told me “there are two important meetings today in d office, and if both of them are successful ill have a good profit in the business. but today for the 1^st time I came backward to ur place while going to office. Never ever do that, I m very particular about things when it’s a matter of some important meeting and things like that. and I m kinda having bad vive about it now.” I was little surprised to hear that but then tried to cheer him up an told him that, nothing would go wrong its all the matter of how we think. Also told him that his meetings would be good, just do it nicely. Ten that was end of it and we were on our on way for our own work. Wait ! wait story isnt over yet…

In the night when I was doing something on my laptop,and my cell started ringing. I was shocked cos its rare for my cell to ring so late in the night. And it was shashi, for a moment I was surprised as to why did he call me so late. but then hetold me that both his meeting went amazing and were very successful and that’s going to really help him in his business. And he really wanted to shar thehappiness with me. I was very happy to hear that. but the happier moment was when he said “Darshana, u r vey lucky for me yar, ill make sure I meet u before I go to all my important meetings”. That was quite sweet thing to hear. Wasn’t that? so that’s it while going to bed I had a smile on my face. Cos today I was a lucky charm.

Sweet NIGHT..

Lets wake up for ourselves

2008-11-28T13:33:00.000-08:00

How old are u 20+, less than 30?? All the militants in the recent event are of the same age. I m sure you know what am I talking about the ‘Big terrorist attack on Mumbai’. Yes all of them are of same age and look at them how devoted they are and what level is the devotion, ready to die (even for so called religion love) But what are we doing sitting in front of The TV sets and feeling bad about the injuries and deaths, and being happy for not being one of those. But can you deny that somewhere in the corner of your mind we all have the thought ‘what if I am one of those next time?’. Can you deny the fact that everyday when you leave your house you wonder if you are going to come back or not??. Why?? Why are we living such a scared life? Why are we so numb about the things happening around us? Why are we still so quite? Just because some few people who are ready to give there lives and bomb us every now and then. Come on!! What are we waiting for?? Don’t u think so, its enough now all the conferences , meeting, all the ‘Samjhota’ and stuffs, all the neighbourhood thing.

We have been seeing so many blast in the past, which have some relation or the other with Pakistan. We have so many evidences, proofs against PAK. We all know that the root lies there. But what have we done about it? nothing. Being good isn’t helping. So why cant we stand for our own safety, for our own self and fight. Let's finish it in one go. Let's punish the ones who are responsible so bad that all the other learn a lesson.Lets show them if they don't have any mercy for the Innocent we don't have any mercy for the cruels. I m sick of this everyday scared death inside me. i want to see that fear in all the terrorist, the fear that i see in everyone of us,the fear that i feel all around. i want to make them think 100 times before they even think of next attack. And I m sure you want that too. So let's take some big action let's tell everyone what we feel.Lets punish them so hard that the world should shiver. Lets punish them the worse possible way that no one has seen before.

Let the government know what we really think? What we really want? Cos it’s the matter of our life after all….

TIME is d boss.

2008-11-21T10:36:00.001-08:00

Its been quite some time now that I have been preparing for my viva, making drawings, working on my model, slogging my ass, staying up late nights, cos I had decided that I m gonna do well this time and gonna give everything good. I had vivas on two days one after d other, first day was good both d vivas went well. Second day was more important cos it was design viva the most important subject of architecture. I finished my model one day before. There was just one file which was given to my friend and I was to plot (print) that in the morning cos my friend could not email me last night and I had to wait till I get that email which for some bad reasons came to me in the morning at around 6:30am.on the viva day. I don’t know what should I call it my bad luck or bad stars d machine got stuck and I had to wait for my plot to get done which resulted in me reaching my collage late. You must be thinking right, that I must have given my viva and everything went well cos all my work was done even the model was looking good and finished too. But you are wrong, u know what happened? the jurors got pissed off cos I was late and I was marked absent even when I was there, I requested them to take it, but I guess they were not able to hear me at that time, I guess they were not able to here the pain in my voice, I guess they were not able to see the eagerness in my voice, the efforts in my work, nothing they just walked away. I was head struck at that moment and everything went blank when they walked away. All my efforts, all the work everything went into drain in fractions of seconds just because of my one mistake “I was not on time”. It felt as if it was the end of the world for me. I wanted to kill the jurars , I wanted to kill the stupid traffic, I wanted to kill that stupid computer which got stuck, I wanted to kill internet for not working on time, but I wanted to kill myself for all of this. One stupid mistake and that’s it everything got spoilt.

I have always heard some people learn it the hard way, I guess it was the worst way to learn the lesson. The lesson ill never forget ‘TO BE ON TIME’. Everything is been messy since then not able to stop cursing myself cos after all its my fault no matter what. But u know why it hurt me so much because other people who didn’t even have good quality work got chance to show. And when I had everything fished well done I didn’t even get chance to put my point across. It wouldn’t have been bad if they saw my work and didn’t like it, but I didn’t even get the chance. It hurts so bad when u lose even before u try for it. It hurts real bad.

its not in the system its in us..

2008-11-20T13:26:00.000-08:00

so true!!

The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech in Hyderabad . *
Why is the media here so negative?Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why? We are the first in milk production. We are number one in Remote sensing satellites. We are the second largest producer of wheat.We are the second largest producer of rice.Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters. Iwas in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the dayafter a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. TheHamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of aJewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in thenewspaper, buried among other news.
In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreignthings? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.
Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture,when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. Indiais not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation. Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.
Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice isyours.YOU say that our government is inefficient.YOU say that our laws are too old. YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage. YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - YOURS. Give him aface - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of MahimCauseway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In Singapore youdon't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai . YOU would not dare to go out without your head coveredin Jeddah . YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop,'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost...' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and NewZealand .Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be thesame here in India ?
Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr. Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels?In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan . Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage allover the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food andtoiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity. This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related towomen, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego mysons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system? What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and thegovernment. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away. Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

what if ??

2008-11-14T10:57:00.000-08:00

12/11/08
Being in architecture I am used to visiting places alone. Going to any place whether crowded or may be barren doesn’t really matter. I have been do dingy slums to big gardens, to big institutes this and that. But today was different, I went to sum place in Andheri, to get some material for my model. It was a small laser printing office, it was kinda inside from the road, tht I actually had to hunt for it. The area where this place is was full of godowns, wooden factories and all. I crossed a small narrow passage (gali I would say) which led to a narrow stairs and there it was on first floor. There were two guys in the office. (u would hardly find any girl in such areas) It was kind of dark cause it was around 7:00pm and the place had no windows at all. I sat there waiting for my work to get done. As u know it empty mind is devils house, one thought came to my mind. What if someone kidnaps me here then rape n kill me. My cells battery was down and no one at my place knew as to where I was exactly apart from the fact tht I had gone to get some stuff that’s it. So there was no way they would have been able to find where I was. That thought really made me insecure. I finished my work as soon as possible and got out of there. But trust me it was really scary thought, not because of anything else but specially for the thought tht what if my life ends in such a miserable way? We really don’t know how our life is going to end but what if there is something so bad stored for us as the end of our life?

lonesome day

2008-11-07T11:46:00.000-08:00

Wow! Finally I m out of my house. My life has been on a slow track since almost a month now. I had my exams some days back before which I was preparing for my exams so hardly went to college, after which it was diwali vacation. And now I am preparing for my viva which is on 20th. So now u get it right how boring things are at my end for quite some time now. As I m not so domestic I hate to stay at home for very long time I start getting all irritated just sitting at home and all. So decided today that I will go to college just to relax a bit and also had some work in library.

Reached college in the noon. First thing which strike me when I was in train was it’s been a long time I have travelled in train. Frankly speaking that wasn’t a great feeling. College was empty as such cos diwali vacation is still on. So I was searching for someone from friends. Just someone who would have a smile to see me after such a long time. There were few juniors doing their study trip work, but there was no one from my class L i wasn’t expecting anyone though cos all are busy doing their thesis or there internship and this & that. Still went to my studio, went to our favourite balcony sat there for some time. It didn’t take long and I was lost in my own thoughts recollecting those fun times in that balcony, in our studio. All the crazy b’day bumps, stupid games, all the gossip columns. Some serious moments, some fights, our hour long chats on all stupid topics. Our future planning, those tasty lunches, those chocolates. Those crazy laughter, senseless jokes, leg pulling. There were n number of thought rushing in my brains. So many memories related to this college. Four years of my life, fun years of my life. Would never forget the jury days, the last moment work, let night coffee, those night outs in college, sometimes for work sometimes for time pass. Those long night walks around the college to be awake. Lying down in the lawn and planning out the work. so many memories that can’t be listed. And in the next moment I was all sad. Couldn’t sit there anymore the sense of loneliness creped inside me. And it was too much to take. The though followed by that was more scary ‘my college life is over now’. Was painful thing to realise. Had to run away from that thought so got out of the studio and went to comp lab thought of doing some time pass to change my mood. Sat in front of the comp but my mind was still stuck with that thought ‘my college is over’. It was Karan who came from behind and pulled me out of that thought. It was so good to see him. He wasn’t in town so saw him after quite some time. As he always catches my expression he asked me as to what I was on my mind. I said nothing but as always ended up telling him what was on my mind. He smiled and said ‘I wish to be in that state, out of college’. And I recollected those times when we had hell lot of work and wished to finish everything of as soon as possible and get out of college. Now when I am about to get out of college I feeling so sad. Wired isn’t it? When u have something u wish for something else and when u get that u feel past was better. Karan caught my mood and suggested to go out for lunch. Was a good idea cos I really wanted myself to get back to normal so could get back to work. We ended up going to MAC and had burger. We’re not there for long but still it helped. I don’t know weather it was burger or Karan but mood was better. I guess its karan cos he knows how to make things sounds simple. And also knows me well. I don’t know what’s with two of us we are totally different but still end up enjoy being together (at least I do.and I guess he does too) he doesn’t talk much but when he talk I have to shut up! I guess the bond which ties us together is our HYDERABAD connection. or may its cos I bug him a lot and he doesn’t mind getting bugged :P

Thanks Karan.

Happy to get out of the house today, but also would never forget today’s day. The most lonesome day ever.

diwali week

2008-11-06T10:41:00.000-08:00

Hey guys hi once again.
I guess I took a little longer than what I had planned for. I will try to stick to my plans next time. :P So talking about this week it was good week because of diwali everywhere was glitter, all around lots of lamps lots, lots of sweets, and lots of new new things. So diwali was good. The fun part was on the Sunday when I met my collage friends after a real long time. The ‘FAMOUS FIVE’, that’s what I call my group as. Which includes rashmi, ritesh, vidhita, pritish and me. Remember I had told u about my life revolving around few people, yes my collage life revolves around these four cartoons. All my years in architecture have been with these guys. All of them are different and special too. I know I have to introduce each of them individually maybe some other time, would be fun to write about all of them in one go.
So coming back to the Sunday. We went for movie in the morning. Called ‘Fashion’ was a good one Madhur Bhandarkars movie quite realistic. Was good enough, went for movie after a really long time. Cos I m not a movie freak as such. Then went for a good lunch but the best part of the whole day was the evening when we went to a beach. For a change we went to the other side of the beach as in we went to a finishing village. Got to see different things than usual beach scenario. Lots and lots of fresh fishes. Was a different experience all together. The funniest part was when we decided to go a fort across the beach. We had seen lots of images of the beach and were very excited cos the beach is on a small Iceland and u have to catch a ferry to reach there. But when we saw the d boat we all had expression ‘are u kidding me’ types. Because the boat was really small and there were too many people stuffed in it, for a moment we though what if the boat topples in the middle of the sea. (Would have been fun tough in the middle of the sea, like banana-boat ride :P) So the planed got cancelled, with a promise to go to the fort next time and little early when there would be less crowd plus with some more guts. So we spent time on beach doing nothing as such but ended up having amazing photo session, some of the snaps turned out to be really good. Saw the amazing sunset one of the things I really like to do. Sitting on a beach looking at the waves, the changing colours of the sky and listening to the waves. Beach is a lovely place to spend some time quietly. So ended our get together there. Good way to spend Sunday isn’t it?
See you soon.

my first hello!!

2008-10-28T01:47:00.000-07:00

Hey happy diwali to all of u… finally I made 1st entry for my blog on the day of diwali. or I should say for my second blog yeh I know now u will ask me if I have one already why I made a new one, or like some people u will say, manage the first one then make a new one, but the point is my 1st blog chirpytulips@blogspot.com is just about my poems ( don’t be surprised but I do write poems sometimes, read it someday n see if I really can) but I wanted some space to share any and every RANDOM thought which comes to my mind so here is my new blog ‘my randomiser’. So how did u like the name? I guess its fine enough.
Now about me, cos I think it’s necessary to introduce myself 1st before u guys get introduced to my writing or I would say chirping. Hmm so what should I say about me,??
I am a simple human being, a simple girl whose life revolves around few people in her life, a girl who likes to write, who loves reading mysteries and fat novels, one who is very passionate about dancing. And like any other human being the one who wants to do n- number of things in this small life of mine. Now u must be thinking that’s it about me, yes as of now that’s it cos if I end yup telling u everything about myself in 1st time there would be nothing to look forward for. U will know about me with all my upcoming blogs for sure. Yeh that’s one promise I made to myself to keep my blog updated.
So I guess enough for the intro right? See u in the next blog. Till then take care.